Saturday, May 29, 2010


it's just that my life seems getting harder
doesn't seems like wanna study
can catch up the subject but can remember what i've study
i think i'm not that kind of bookworm
more into working here and thr.
but no diploma or degree certificate who want to hire?
no one but pungut sampah, since got SPM sijil

i try not to think negetive stuff but eventually it came too
and recently i felt like i was dreaming
what i do is all a dream
nothing seems real to me
its like my soul is not complete, feeling unconcious
i've sleep early these day but it seems that still very sleepy
and unconcious feeling is thr.
like i need someone to slap my face to wake me up
hope one day somebody REALLY slap me one day a
nd let me cried it out loud till i'm really concious

now life is really difficult now.
sometimes i felt that my surrounding is save
but then it's not, need to be aware of all things.
and time is running out for me now.
how many years i can be with my parents
when i was a kid i thought no one will past away in my family
and live till i'm old, but no, life, old, sick, death(translate to chinese)
that is what i know. so live ur life to the fullest.

question will never end. it will come even more and more
and it will still running through ur mind everyday.
so don ask or think to much, life is like a drama
different people different story, so don compare ur life to others
although sometimes life is unfair.

God Bless All of Us

Thursday, May 27, 2010


trying to update my blog..
nothing to talk bout these day
same as usual and thr's lots of argument, dislike, like, hate, love
all the same everyday
fake or no fake also got
and now holiday has started only for 5 days
and we have 5 assignment that need to be completed
so not really counted as holiday though

again i wanna say life is difficult
nothing is easy like a piece of cake
need to get through everything if we want a happy ending
pushed urself to the limited
i wont pushed myself to far though..
just ngam ngam ok de loh

will update soon
God Bless!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

All Saints & Suria Sabah

went to All Saints school today with my uncle..
it change a lot my uncle say
it's true
from the day i start form1 it start to change a lot
become more modern already
it seems that the school is getting rich yeah!!
i thought today i can go into the school n hug cassan
but unfortunately my uncle just drive through thr only
watch the school how they change
n saw some new buildings
so it was quite fun tho nostalgic n memories!

so then we went to suria since my uncle want to see hows the building structure it is
went to the car park thr since its free
went to 5th floor then we went down to the mall..
not yet fully open yet n some of the elevator was not open..
actually suria's structure is not was i expected..
totally a was an 'L' shape not that nice
coz end of the mall was dead end..
and the lift is actually very dangerous to girls
coz the door is not open space when we need to take th elift..
so its not that good lah

n today got a lot of pilak go watch movie at thr
since thr still got the promotion whr
1 coupon can change 2tickets movie
ain't that nice..but all pilak what to do??
ohya one more thing
we saw a crack on the ceiling i think almost each floor
i think not tahan that..more than 5years like that sure roboh..
coz too heavy, full with human weight..hahaha XD

then the most thing i like is whr the food court thr
the view is very nice since it near to the sea
n the open space is very nice too
whr we can enjoy our tea time or lunch time with soo much relax
and the toilet is not bad also since its big and pretty.
but got a bit wet and not long later its going to be very dirty and rosak here and thr already
so becarefull going to suria..not that good..

Monday, May 17, 2010

My type of Mask?

Your mask is strength.
You try hard to fend for yourself.
 You do not let others do things for you.
You often need to be in control of a situation,
even if you can't handle it alone.
You are always putting on a front,
even if you don't feel strong at all.
You don't let others see you when you're vulnerable,
 because you barely let your self be.
 Despite your flaws of always trying to act strong,
you are a strong person,
with strong character that can do anything you put your mind to.
 A lot of the times you really don't need anyone,
and are perfectly capable on your own.
However, there are times you find yourself wanting to let someone in but are not really sure how to.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

It happen AGAIN!

Last year May is the most horrible thing that heppen to me
suddenly I have this anoymous trauma
since then i never stay alone at home or go out alone
n i don hav the bravery to step into my own house alone
i don know why this trauma will happen to me
why it is not to others but me..

since from last year till now
it still happen again
recently i'm scare again
i don know what happen to me
suddenly i'm full with frighten
n i cried infront of my parents again
since this trauma get into me
i've been thinking negetively
i try to avoid thinking bout it but it seems that is won't dissapear
and a lot things i like to do
has forbidden me

such as music(last year),
words that has to do with killing, crazy, matilah, those kind of words,
and even when i went to kitchen n i saw knife
i will quickly put them in the drawer
i really scare i will do stupid things with it(recently),
now movie
recently we bought cd Avatar n others movie
when my bro watch it i feel weird
my trauma start to get my nerves on
n i quickly turn my focus away from it

there's even a lot of things that i scare most is
being crazy
when it starts to get my nerves on
my mind will feel unconciously
it feels like i'm dreaming
or feel like drunk or have been taking drugs
it also feels like my soul wasn't complete at all

i even doubt for Jesus existence
cz b4 i get this trauma, i fully trust Jesus existence
but now if i think more or even try to understand more bout Jesus
i'll start to get confuse,so i try not to understand their meaning
of it, so i can keep on trusting Jesus's existence

this trauma really gets my nerves on when it comes
nothing will be good, n my mood will straight
away swing n become an emo n silence person
and it will definately effect my studies
just like my SPM result..straight away effected my result

it is really not a nice thing to hav this trauma,
coz it really will effect somthing that i now cannot even describe it.

i really hope this trauma will go away from me.
i just want to live a simple life
nothing more or less just the right thing
ain't life is full of dramatic??
hope it goes away far away from me
God Bless All of Us

Friday, May 14, 2010


It's already 2weeks over for the 2nd semester
nothing happen tho
Jan n May intake studied together on ITN n Micro class only
but next year both of our class will attend all same subject 2gether
not really like May intake joining us
coz too crowded..too much noises
too much ppl.. least place to hang out
more prefer 26 of us..
it's more fun coz we can play around when lecturer is not in the class
n really pay attention to lecturer when start classes
but now every classes(except Stat n FA1) that combine with May intake
they talk too much but not all May intake also Jan punya Geng also..
lecturer is teaching us, some of them talking thr
If u all don want to study just stay at home n
become ur Ms. Barbie doll
or Mr. Handsome guy
soo u know that..
their mouth can't seems to stop talking thr..
blah blah blah blah..NONESTOP!!!
I just need silence n only hear the lecturer's voice only
nothing more or less
Thank You!

Monday, May 10, 2010

Cinderella's sister lyrics (english)

It has to be you ~ Yesung (SuperJunior)

Even today, I wander after my memory
And I'm staying around the end of this road
You're holding me tightly,
Even though I can't see you anymore
I'm losing my way again
That I miss you
That I want to embrace you again
I pray as i look to the sky

It has to be you
I can't do it without you
Like this, one day, one month or one more year
It's ok even if my heart is hurts
It's ok even if my heart is hurts
Because I love only You

I can't send you away second time
I can't forget you and live on

My injured heart is telling me to find you
Where are you?
Don't you hear my voice?
To me.......
Even if I live again
Even I was reborn a thousand times
I can't live without you even for one day

I will protect this love
Iwill love this love
Because I'm only happy if I'm with you
I'm only happy if I love you

Sunday, May 9, 2010

what's wrong with my BRO!??

when did my bro's otak became that stupid huh!?
what was he thinking!??
went to sushi king for dinner
after dinner i told my bro that i want to work at sushi king
then he scold me TAI LIN NGONG!!!
FUCK HIM LAH!!! so whats wrong working at thr
its my freedom mah..if u want to work at office then work lah
scold ppl stupid becoz i don choose to work at office
i think my bro is even stupid

he think he is so smart that he no need to work also got $$$ n food drop from the sky
what wrong with him man
he can work at office is his business n i want to work at sushi king is my business
do u think u have the right to scold me
since ur action is such a stupid that even for my whole family agreed too
even my uncle auntie thinks ur even more stupid
always stay at home on9 on9 on9 on9
married with the comp lah stupid

if u want to work at office go find a work lah say me that
waste 1 year staying at home on9 sleep eat ohsi only
i never saw a bro with that stupid n lazy attitude
even my friends bro r soo good to his sis n his family
n my bro is such a LOSER!!
even my parent thinks he is very USELESS!!
my parents give advise my bro was like left ear in right ear out
wtf!!! i wish i never had a bro like this
thats y i rather go to my friends hse rather than staying at home
i don even 1 to face that fucking stupid bro

if he is a smart guy n can lazy is okay
but he FAIL his exam n totally need to re-sit for the exam
n now he still on9 on9 on9 n on9
like fucking shiat owh..
waste my parents $$$ only
and he thinks our parents won't old n unable to work anymore
in the world i think he his the most fucking shit brother in my life that i ever saw!!

i think i'm the only hope to raise my parents when they r old
n i really study hard for my diploma course now so i can start my work early
n get a lot of $$$ so my parents can go travel whrever they want
n have a peacefull n relax life
coz our parents is really getting really really old now!!
white hair growing, aches everywhr at their body, memories is getting low
don know how long i will stay with my parents
its not that i'm over making such a stories
but this is a real world..nothing is free n easy now!
hope those who read this can realise n WAKE UP FROM UR DREAM!!
time cannot be turn back n no use to menyesal later!

God Bless ME n strenghten ME so i cant work more harder for a better life!
n Bless Us All!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Wrong Artist!

Cheon Jeong Myeong!
is the person that i like
Jang Geun Suk!

I've mistaken both of them since thay really look a like
then i saw Cheon Jeong Myeong on KBS
i was wondering if it was Jang Guen Suk
but noooo..
it was actually the guy i really admire
I've really mistaken both of them
Cheon Jeong Myeong is much older its about thirties already
and Jang Geun Suk is only bout tweenties

I've really mistaken both of them
n i don like Jang Geun Suk anymore
coz he is not the Artist i admired very much..
bad eye sight aye!!

when both of them smile is actually shows how different they are
but when they act cool or normal they look the SAME!! can't i differentiate their face aye?
no wonder when i watch Jang Geun Suk he was sooo slim n freaking skinny
coz Cheon Jeong Myeong is much more fit n tough
coz he went to military service b4..ain't he awesome..XD

ain't he cool??
watch his new was really nice n show his soft n cuteness side
n the main actress was really awesome too..
coz this drama was talking bout the stepsister..
n thr is one of 2pm's member in thr..i think is TEAK KYEUN!! (i think i spell wrong) =P
watch it now repeat time on Sunday 11.10am till 1.30pm
Watch It Do Not Miss The Chance!!

Have FUN!! =)

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Labour Day!

it's a wonderful morning
sun light shine through our bedroom
n i woke up at 7.45am
n wake my mom also
still sleepy...-.-
i'm calling my mom to wake up n GO TO CHURCH!!!
hahahahahahaha..stupid me..
then after calling my mom(still lying on the bed) wake up
i went to toilet..
then i feel weird..the sky ody soo bright..y my mom don wake up again
n get ready for church!!
then i realise today is holiday..
i thought today was Sunday..but actually Saturday
hahahahaha...really stupid owh me..
bengong ody after drink a little bit of alcohol..hahaha XD
so i went back to sleep again
till 9.30am

then wake up n went to nearby all saint school thr
makan breakfast..saw some students come out from the school
mayb class tambahan or anything feel good to go back thr
miss my old times..

n saw Beng Beng thr..memang lah
he said he is waiting for the school anounce for the intake of form6
n archuleta(fera) n cassan also waiting for good
i'll definately go back thr n meet them..need a huggss from BABI!!xP

then went to Servay!
sot owh..only 10.30am ody got a lot of ppl thr
of course..keluar gaji ody n labour day mah!!
buy new --- n ---------!!!
hahaha..wont tell u what i buy..try guest urself lah..=P

can't wait for Monday!!
school starts n it's a new semester for my course
so happy rather than berkulat at home..
n need to study even more harder
for this semester..coz it's even getting harder n harder..
God Bless Every1! =)

Get ready for Party!!(30th April 2010)

yesterday we get ready for our party
its from our dancing club party also
its one of the auntie's birthday but actually 2 of them celebrate together
1 kenal n 1 tidak kenal
so we just pay for the homemade cake n i gave a small perfume
as a present
its fun to hav this kind of party..
so i can hav fun since its with my mom
boleh lambat balik rumah bout 12am
hehehehe!! =P

n most important thing i can see a guy dance
he's so cute..haha =P
not that cute lah but i like to see him dancing
so nice this..
he is so good in dancing those dance
if he join the ballroom dancing definately won a lot of price
but unfortunately he's not interest with those ballroom
he is interested with line dance
that we can freely dance what we like also can
soo line dance forever..
n i'm trying to improve myself on it..coz feel shy dancing infront of them
i'm trying n trying..XP

still cannot..haha mayb 1 day i'll dance like 1 of the auntie..
she is sooo freaking HOT! n SEXAYY!!
n she remember all the dance very well
n all the moves that she dance is very overeacting
but it really look nice n pretty when she dance it
hope i can dance open-minded..
so wont scare infront of any1..=)

and again i drank carlsberg..
this time even worst
just 1 sip of carlsberg ody start a bit dizzy
but slowly n calm down ody i feel much better ody
then i start drinking again
then ok ody wont mabuk ody..
can handle alcohol now..hahaha XD