Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Before 2013 Ends

So as I'm writing here, less than 3 hours till the end of 2013. I feel like I couldn't feel the presence of the time. It is running way too fast. I couldn't keep in the pace. There's ups and down occurred in 2013.

1. When I knew my bff Bibian decided to leave us to study in UK. But her secret didn't go well on me. I knew she just went to UK for vacation. To tell you the truth I stalked her unintentionally. She was the best friend of mine which practically I know all her families member. She just abandoned me right after the graduation. Ignored my message, never call me or explain anything to me. If you are reading this congratulation Queen B. You lied to everyone in your social media but you can never lied to me especially you live so near me. And truth will come out no matter how long you are going to hide. I introduced Sharon one travel agencies for internship which is now a permanent staff and guess what! Sharon was in charge with passport visa and also with your latest travelling in China. Sharon already checked up your passport. You never went to study at UK at all. You lied to us but we found out. This world is so small. I cried for nothing and you broke Sharon and my trust. We will never be a complete meal right now. Potato decided to find another way out. Its just left Beef chop with salad. 

2. I hate my job. I still managed to endured for 1 and 3 months in this company. My position is really stable right now but I never love my job. Everyday I always wait for work off. Waiting for time to passed by and end the day. I'm nowhere motivated. I am waiting for the opportunities to leave this company. I don't like the way I'm working now, I am a great leader and I know I can do more than what I have now but the position I'm standing doesn't favor me at all. Even if I take opportunities it won't work. I am still seeking for what I stand for and go for my passion. I don't want to regret doing things I don't like. I must love my job in order to pursue what I wanted. 

3. This year I managed to go travelling to new country! I went to Taiwan on the end of March. It was a great experience for me. I'll definitely go there again for their food and shopping paradise. Not to mention I went to Pulau Sapi for the first time on September. It was the first time I went to Pulau to have fun. I went to Pulau with my favorite colleague! Also it was my first trip with Sharon to KL! Went to KL meet few of my favorite blogger as well, then stayed at uncle's place, went to shopping and ate all the fast food in KL. 

4. This year I finally turned 21 years old. I am not sure if I am fully matured or not. But I am sure I am growing up to become a better person. I really hate the feeling of growing old. Because the older I am the more I need to know the real world. This world is really scary. How the society ruin people's physical and mind is really a challenge for us. Sometimes we cannot act according to our feelings but rationally that wouldn't harm or disadvantages us. As we are growing up older our surrounding people aged as well especially our loves one, parents. It makes my heart aches even more in pain. It also shows that the time I'm going to spend with them is going to be lessen. I'm happy to become a grown up but my heart is in pain to watch them grow older as well. 

5. Participate with Church activities really makes me happier. I am fortunate and lucky that this year I've managed to participate caroling! Its been 6 years since our Church has stop caroling. It was amazing. It brings back a lot of great memories. But of course this was a lot more different. This year Church member has finally expanded their activities and getting more active than before. It took a long time to make this happen, and I am happy to see a lot of new faces and old members getting involved with Church actively. It was really a great start. I can feel the strength and faith for making the Church more active than before. Praise The Lord. I hope I can make time for Church as well. 

What is my 2014 New Year Resolution? 
1. Seek job opportunities when the time comes.
2. Travel as much as possibles.
3. Love my parents even more.
4. Go to Church and participate as much activity they conducted
5. Exercise more and loss more than 10 kg fat. 
6. Forgiveness. 
7. Be more considerate and work hard on every wishlist I created. 

Till then,
Cheers and God Bless

Monday, December 30, 2013

Sudden Change

I was just enjoying my December life week ago. I am now all depressed. Depressed with work. I cannot wait to throw letter of resignation next year. I can't wait that day to come. I don't know whats wrong about me. Such a sudden change. Maybe period is approaching so my hormone is getting imbalance here. I feel like I'm back to the old me which is full of grouchy feeling. 

Feeling so uncomfortable lately. Actually I've ignored my work a lot just to anticipate church activity for the whole month of December. Now that my routine got back to normal, I hate it so much. I'm nowhere motivated to work in this condition. I want my church life back! but I know it should be balance between work and personal life. 

I just couldn't concentrate at all with work. I spend the most happiest and fun day with church member and friends. I could even feel that I totally abandoned my parents lol. I hate the feeling of pressure, it disguise me a lot. I HATE IT. I have to pretend to be happy and work diligently when I'm not. 

I really hope I could attend Jumpstart talk on January 2014. Little bits of a miserable life. Oh btw 1 more days to go before 2014. I'm not sure I'm ready or not. It's just a date that change number every year. 2013 has given me a bundle of happiness that I couldn't possible had. I'm thankful to met such amazing people on December and participate church life again, they bring lots of laughter to me. I'm so thankful and grateful to my church family! 

Till then,
Cheers and God Bless

Friday, December 27, 2013

Praise The Lord

I am having a massive awesomeness this December 2013! I've never been so busy and excited for all the church activities before! I am deemed and motivated to join lot of their camp and activities next year. So much fun happening this year. I must motivate myself to go to church as much as possible.

I don't know why but I feel so much different. It feels like so many miracle is happening. Church youth is getting strong and active than before. A lot of youth joined camp and their event. Previously youth is really dull and inactive, nobody wanted to even join anything at all.

But nonetheless, Praise The Lord! Church spirit is getting really stronger than before. It is really hard to describe anything into words but I saw and experienced the difference from long ago and the current situation. We are changing for better and changing for stronger and changing for stronger faith in Lord Jesus.

Even tho I still seek for the other half and my passion, I believe God has plan for me. No matter where I choose the road I will still be guided.

All I asked is to be alive and I'm Thankful. I'm so thankful for all the happening and the greatness of Lord. I really feels like Lord Jesus is slowly open up my heart. To tell you the truth, I'm in doubt with Lord Jesus, there's a border in my heart take block the trust, sometimes I felt insecure and scared. But Lord Jesus has been patient on me all the way. 

He's taking a slow pace to heal me and giving lots of love no matter what had happen. I'm really grateful and Thankful for everything. I'm glad to take the opportunities to join caroling, and youth event. I really hope in the future I will join more of these event to open up even more. 

Thank You Lord Jesus! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! 
Cheers and God Bless Everyone!

Monday, December 23, 2013

Little bits of this and that

Hi guys! Hadn't had a proper time to do blog post! Busy with caroling and church and lots of event coming! Never had such amazing and busy December. My time was packed with caroling and church event and others as well. I am so happy to participate this year's caroling, it really brings back great memories I had back then.

Really anticipate the coming of Christ! I never anticipate as much as before but I'm glad I did. To spread the word of God, to spread the news of the coming of Christ. So amazing, words really can't describe how grateful and amazing things had happen to me. Feeling so blessed despite all the grouchy emotional from the all the previous post I have been posting in this blog.

There's a little bit of unsettling lust in my heart lately. It keeps fluttering. I don't recall anything or people that I like. It still the same, I do sometimes think too much. Even though I still haven't decided that if I wanted to study or continue to work, I really hope God will guide me with the choices that I've made.

Anyway this week I'm full with event! Monday (today!), Christmas song practice and also sharing from one of our church member! Tuesday, Going to church at night with my friend! Wednesday (Christmas Day!), church in the morning and youth party at night! Thursday, Sacred Heart Church Youth Party at night! Friday, Company dinner! I love love love December! So much event to attend! I feel like my life is not so meaningless at all. Feeling really really blessed and happy now!


Wednesday, December 18, 2013

In time songs

Every year, every month, every week, every day, every hour, every minute, every second, every time. Singer or music producer constantly creating new and fresh music to people. We constantly seek music that fits our moods. Music is everyone's life practically. We can't live without music. It constantly pushes towards or backward based on the music we're listening. It gave us a lot of impact no matter what, where, when, why and how.

People like is moving towards anything we're doing. So we are used to listening new song every time we're on radio or on television. But once we listen back to the song we used to listen or song that it was popular on that particular time, we tend to reminisce the good time or hard time we had. 

Its finally Christmas month now. I finally had the chance to go out for caroling. Although its tiring but I feel great and amazing. Its feels so amazing to spread the good news of Jesus! I hadn't had this amazing feeling before. Singing church songs is still best. We even sing back all the song we used to be in prayer meeting and youth camp. I'm reminisce back all good memories I had.

Also I've been obsessed with White Christmas! It like my most and best and loved song! I've been singing it every time when I have the great mood. It feels so great! While I was singing the song it feels like or I really wish that it snow during Christmas time. How I wish! Hope you all are having a good time!

Till then,
Cheers and God Bless