Tuesday, February 16, 2016


Making a comeback session on this blog! I haven't abandon this blog as it kept so much memories when I've first started it. I have my small amount of reader here. My friends who blogs were gone nor updating for years now. I think in the future I will continue to blog either here or at here VOOMEI.BLOGSPOT.MY At first my purposed of 2nd blog was created to define my overall lifestyle I experienced from travelling to content that I find it useful to my reader. As time goes by, things do get back to when I first started in this blog.

I stopped posting travel post nor any content, I began to wrote long words & letters to express my life I'm going through. I don't really want to let anyone get into deep about what I have been thinking. But all these frustration is pilling up so badly. I haven't rant as much as before & I'm keeping it to myself so much that physically & mentally drained.

I always thought that running away is the way of doing things right. I still do feel that way. Escaping reality is hard. The minute you enjoy your long awaited holiday for weeks, the minute you are back on your office, your real reality shit life. We live in such high expectation. As I was updating & browsing through my blogger list, I started to read one of my favorite blogger Timothy Tiah.

LINK-Why do we succumb to peer pressure if were supposed to be special
I am not surprised by the fact that people do get peer pressure. When I was a high school student, I know nothing about fashion, sport nor entertainment. High school was the real deal back then. We tend to follow our friends style & preference of certain statement which was meant to show off during that time. Of course I envied them a lot, but I never told my parents about it except for pilot shakers I own during primary school. HUGE DEAL back then. HAHA

As I entered college things were different. Smart phones & cars were the deal that time, then as I entered work life things get pretty the same but much more expensive. Branded fashion statement, sport cars, investment, estate and all sort, that a 24 years old me couldn't get to do or own any of that. I felt like I haven't been able to see the world yet I have to work my ass off paying & buying for a temporary happiness. I feel so empty inside out. I was given money, I work for money, I buy using the money. Having saving is a good way to a secured future & retirement.

But I haven't explore myself, haven't find my REAL passion, haven't experience outside of this place, I have so many things to experience instead of working for uncertain future. My life is not to work, save, have lots of money then die then gave all the inheritance to my child. I want to earn enough for food on the table. Have small & comfy shelter with the person I love. Explore the world, see & touch all the things I have seen or never seen. Most important I want to get out of my comfort zone so badly.

I've been staying in my comfort zone for so long that I'm so scared of it. It really freaks me out. I've been constantly staying in the same place & its increasing my anxiety. It turned worst since last year Dec'15 till Jan'16, you guys can read it here (I'M NOT MOVING ON) I basically shut myself so badly & traumatized. I need get back on feet but it takes longer time than the last time I had trauma attack.

I need time to heal myself. I need time to get back on feet. I need a friend or companion who drives & pushes me out of this scary box. I just need longer time than before. I hope I could get back on feet in no time for my next adventures ahead. I'm taking it slow right now, as for now my family have been supportive not entirely but will. -.- Please give me some positive vibe yooo! I will get better & be better!

Till then,
Cheers & God Bless

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