Its been a great week at work. I really love the positive environment at my new work place. Even tho I don't have the chances to slack off it makes me more motivated and focused on my current job. I have never thought that I could get into such a great place to work with. I hope I could stay in this positive environment longer. Previous 2 company I've worked with really pressure me with lots of negativity. It makes me irritated and depressed. I'm loving the peaceful environment I'm working now. Because I'm not influenced with negative people.
Sometimes I wonder if its Karma or deja vu. I've always thought that I'm blessed and my life is filled with good people around. It hit me when my mom said that my previous colleague that I've work with influenced me with negative thoughts. Its true but I don't want to admit it. I'm a person that gets influenced easily especially with negative. Actually I don't mind these kind of people but once I get too attached, I act and behave like them. That's what I hate the most. I tried to be strong but I couldn't but thanks to that colleague I'm out of negative environment. It made me realized that I get frustrated & depressed with these kind of environment with people I'm involved but now I get the best and I'm feeling super great.
Now that good things is happening in my work life it doesn't mean that other else doesn't. The biggest fear that I've thought has already appeared. "Acting strange", this is happening. Whenever something in a family is "acting strange" it brings no good. Even though I'm prepared but when its bound to happen I think I couldn't face it properly. When I knew that "acting strange" is happening I've already running away a lot of times. Sometimes I wonder is it because of my fault. But I know the one who is suffering is not me, its the person that supported this family.
Drama in reality sure does scary than in movie. I need someone who I can tell and cried and lean on. Thinking these really frustrate me a lot. Give me some positive vibe yooooooo. I'm planning to tell these problem with my close friends but I don't think they will really comfort me for the way I wanted. I missed my most trusted best friend. Every time I'm happy or sad I always think of her and wanted to tell her everything. I probably cried my ass out when I'm going to meet her in the future because she's the only person I love and trusted a lot (I'm straight ok!). You know people move on in their own life. She goes her way I go my way. Adulthood sure sucks. One regretted things I said during my childhood was "I want to quickly grow up and become an adult". But I'm not regretting the way I am now because I have to faced the fact that people grow and change. Its life.
Thanks to manga/anime I felt much better! lol
Cheers & God Bless.