It's the time of the Year.

Year of Horse this year to be precise. They said this year is the best year. I'm not sure but hopefully. Urghh I still hate my job. I take back for saying I like this job in the previous post. I cannot wait to get over it. Now I'm looking for a new job. This shit company I'm working didn't increase my salary even though I got bonus but I think increase salary is important as well, at least Rm50 or Rm100 is enough. For all the hard work I've did and FORCED to remember to remind Boss and shit working people. I think I had enough of this shit environment. I couldn't wait to get out from it. Enough with the shit work life, I could overcome it when the times come. 

So holiday finally starts and less than 30 min its going to be CNY!! Fireworks and fire crackers are going to be booming loud to welcome the New Year. I couldn't believe another year have pass through. I didn't know where all the time had gone. I felt like the time I'm using right now doesn't satisfied me. Working hour the lesser the better, the fun times I'm having the longer the better. I feel so old right now. Like seriously old. 

This season is the best! I get to see my families. Having them around is sure fun and amazing. Even though its tiring but we had lots of chatting session and lots of laughter. So good to spend time with all of them. That's when all the marriage or searching for boyfriend material topic came up. Just so you guys know my bro has a girlfriend, and my cousin who is the youngest has boyfriend. So "old people" tend to asked when I'll get a boyfriend. It was kinda depressing for not having all hype and embarrassed to get question about boyfriend material. They we're shy for getting asked about their partners but I am depressed for getting asked when I'll get a boyfriend. 

To tell you the truth, I'm not ready to commit any relationship. Even if they're really interested in me, I wouldn't even want to think nor imagine at all. I would ignore all guys that is interested in me. Like literally ignore all. I couldn't even imagine to bring a guy that I like and introduce to my family. I wanted to have a boyfriend but I just automatically reject it. It's my nature to reject. I like saying no. I couldn't help it. So I don't even bother having thinking about it. I'll let it go through fate. 

Sorry to hear my babbling stories on these festive season. I just couldn't hold it. LOL Anyway, Wishing Everyone Prosperity and  Good In Health and Have a Great Day Ahead! 

Till Then,

Cheers and God Bless

The other side

Having a lot of thoughts and controversy on my own today. Just 30 minutes before office hour was over. I was called in, to meet with boss. It wasn't that big issue for me but boss called QS as well, at first of course it was our mistake to forget things. Then 2nd issue arise, called up purchasing for the problem it was still our fault for making mistake on the project. Yet all the problem was to actually aiming at them. Its like I'm part of the fault but the fault was directed to them instead of us together. 

I felt relieved that Boss didn't actually blaming it on me because all the things was supposed to be their work but I ended up doing their part of it. In a sense the fault wasn't on me but to them. But in somewhere I felt bad and guilty for them taking all the blame even tho I helped them and still there's a problem occurred. When they left the room Boss and I had a short conversation. I am happy that Boss compliment me for doing my job and able to deliver what boss wanted. On the other hand Boss gave a small dissatisfaction towards them.

In my mind I'm so happy for the compliment but on the other side how could I be happy when Boss told me that their performance drop. I couldn't accept happy and worst in the same time. Its like I've got a promotion up while the others got fired that kind of feeling you know!? I don't know how to react or to respond the feeling I have right now.  

Last month and this month has been an intense situation for me. I am getting more work than before. But I started to like this busy work life. It gets me work up so much, my brain is working so fine. Previously I've been nagging and shitting all sort of stuff of my work life because my brain is decaying. I didn't work anything at all for 4 to 5 months. I literally online everyday, looking at the clock waiting for work off. But now I try to finish everything before working hour ended, as of there's so little time for me to complete my task. Self accomplishment is getting better, I hate to say I like this job. Account was not my thing at all. I never like it. Actually I like the busy life, no matter what job it is as long as it is busy and I can complete all the job I am happy. But I still have to find the one job that I truly like. 

Mom said I should make compliment as a confidence in myself. Of course it makes a great impact to strive more and better but confidence I'm not sure. I hate it when I have confidence what if in the end I fell hard. I hate it. I don't think I could take all the consequences and tragic if something went wrong. I might collapse and escape from it. I'm taking it as simple as possible, If I am able to do it I will if not I will ask. I am still young, I don't want to stick into the same job I'm having now. I need to find and get other job, I need to experience different kind of environment because I know I still have a lot more spaces to expand my knowledge and improvement. 

It seems that I can't properly explain my feelings right now. All I hope is everything will be alright.

Till then,

Cheers and God Bless.

18-01-2014

Planned everything perfectly and the plan goes well in the end.

The day before we planned everything out. We decided to escape work for a short while to go out for interview. We're doing the wrong thing but it feels right. We prepared for it. I am basically super nervous about the plan whether it works out or not. 

In the morning with all well prepared document and suit up for the occasion. We were waiting for the time, the perfect timing to escape. Finally its time to go. First of all we went to site, basically follow the plan properly then we headed to Damai to complete the main task of the day. 

The interview was totally failed. We don't have the license for that job and being offered another one. Shit. All the plans for the escape was totally not worth it. We bought food back to office and being nagged by the supervisor. Sometimes I just don't understand my supervisor being shitty. Perks of having high position eh. 

After working hours, we headed to our next destination. Karaoke session but with another one of the colleague who works till 5pm whereas we work till 1pm on the Saturday. The adrenaline rush we had while helping my colleague to escape. And the plan goes well smoothly. Unpredictable smoothly. 

The plan was so success we felt weird and so much guiltiness. From the morning till end we felt bad. We did the wrong thing but it feels right. I don't know. All I do now is to pray for forgiveness. But one good thing after the interview I felt relieved. Because I know I'm choosing back the pathway I'm suppose to go. 

If the interview was a success I start planning out something different, much more different. There's so many choices in front, so many opportunities I've got. I'm making its way more visible so I can choose properly what I really wanted. But one thing for sure 1 pathway is closed. There's more pathway to choose and go. Hoping that some of the sacrifices, guiltiness and struggles would lead a better way. 

Till then,

Cheers and God Bless

Random Thoughts

Life has been great lately. I think. Not sure if my life is that GREAT. But overall it IS great. Argh, now all I was hoping is to get my bonus as soon as possible. If possible I hope this month I could get it. Sigh-ing super hard right now. What if I don't get it?? Argh. Feeling super frustrated. Been working really hard lately. Working much more better and productive this year ( I mean this month :P ). I'm not sure its because of the new year resolution's trend or just I'm being force to do my work diligently. LOL 

Why should I worry about things like that? Making myself all so misery. Life still goes on. Finally the chances are here and I'm grabbing it hard. All I need to do now is to secure it. But in order to gain I need to let go the current one. I hope the sacrifice I made will turn out better in future. Oh so misery. 

Oh I'm gaining weight like crazy. Super crazy fat ass right now. I practically can feel myself expanding like mad cow. And CNY is getting freaking near!! All the foodies are waiting for me!!! T_____T I'll tell you how to lose weight easily without exercise! Basically you find a plastic stool chair, which looked like this.

And you sit like that all day. As long as your knee is higher than your butt while sitting, the fats in your thigh is practically burning. For better effect you have to hug your leg so that both of the butt and thigh burns. That's the most effective way actually. The longer you sit in that position you can feel the soreness of your thigh and leg muscle. Sitting on a normal chair basically won't work well since your knee and butt is in the same level, and eventually all the fats will all accumulate in your tummy. Think twice when you sit on a chair. LOL 

Another last way to drop weight instead of real burning fats is to eat pure dark chocolate with no sugar content at all. 1 small pieces a day. For 1 month you can see the effect of weight drop. But the dark chocolate must be all in between 75% - 100% dark cocoa with guarantee no sugar content. I seriously need to get that dark chocolate that I've previously bought! It really makes an effect to my body. (All are solely based on my own opinion, don't take it too seriously, if you are taking it seriously you might loss weight (pun of the day))

But of course the most important to loss weight is to exercise and eat healthy. Its even so hard and demotivated to do any exercise lately. Its been raining everyday and night. Craving is getting stronger too. I need to get hold on myself. GAHHHHHHH I WANT AVOCADO (at least this is healthy. lol) !!! 

Till then,

Cheers and God Bless. 

January 2014

So its already the 2 week of January! Time flies way too fast. Hadn't had the time to blog. Got caught up with work. Been so busy lately. Nearly went sick cause over work. I can work till I forget to drink water. Even tho I still hate my job, I still need to complete all the task given. Its giving me headache lately. Oh well life goes on. Cannot wait for my bonus then I'll slap my resignation on my boss's desk. hahaha I have great imagination. But I'm so worried if I passed my work to new employee, will he/she work properly as I am. Of course I don't mean I do perfect job but at least its all organized. hahaha Compliment all by myself. lol I am grabbing any opportunities arise in front of me. Decision making still sucks.

Facebook is getting boring as well. Same game everyday. It sucks. Been into reading lately. Looking for good books now. Need to buy more books. I notice that I've never read books as much. Obviously I'm lazy and words makes me sleepy. I'm hooked up when the story gets interesting. Been reading The State We're In by Adele Parks. Great story! I don't know how to explain the plot but I assure that its amazing. 

I still feel like its Christmas! Oh the great memories I had with my Church member. Not to say I'm over confident with myself but I noticed and felt that few of the Church members had interest in me. Guys of course. Its like my flower starts to bloom. LOL I was like so curious, why the heck these guys is interested with me. I'm not pretty and I'm fat. And I did notice or should I say they intend to approach me. LOL It was so obvious lol Of course I make myself natural and normal with my friends. It was really different and weird to have people interested with me. My mind was like thinking "Just come in front of me and confess!" LOLLLL I'm being despo right now. But all is good! It means I'm loved. Thank You secret admire lolllllll.

Despite all the worst part on working life all is good! I'm turning 22 this year so I need to suck it up as a grown up. Bye. 

Till then,

Cheers and God Bless.