What is happening to my life

Yeah seriously what is happening to my life. WHAT IS WRONG? Ok working ranting post again. I just can't help it but to complain, complain, complain and complain. Do you know what was I doing the whole day in office today?

I'm spreading message to every ex college classmate of mine that we're having a small gathering in Pulau Sapi. And I choose during the 9th of August which is on Hari Raya. I thought that they were available for the small reunion, apparently they weren't. I was like so pissed off and sad as well. Cause some were really unable to go and busy as well. Some were able to go but the amount of people going wasn't that enough. Some refuse to go cause its a pulau and some don't even fucking reply my message even though they've seen it. Urghh even the lecturer were not available. 

See this is my life in my office. Doing unnecessary stuff, online, online, online and blogging. I seriously need to stop doing all these stuff and resign and just go out for vacation. I need to seek out advice from my uncle and aunt instead of my parents. I'm wasting my time here and receiving salary for nothing. I DON'T WANT THIS LIFE. TIME PLEASE PASS FASTER TO END OF OCT, I'M SERIOUS.

On a happy note, I've got an opportunity to chat with one of my admire today. HAHA Even tho its just a short convo. :)

Story of my life.




Till then,
Cheers and God Bless.

The right way

Okay I think its like million or billion or gazillion times I was bragging and ranting shit on my work life. How or when will I stop that!? Until I find my true passion in life. No one I mean literally no one understand my passion or my life even I wanted to to share, which I did. They no understand my alien language I guess. 

I really wanted to share my passion by finding the one true work of my life just like finding one true love. How can you work at a place that you don't like. Lifeless, no self accomplishment, no I don't want all of this. All I wanted to do now was splat the letter of resignation in my boss face (in my dream) then pack my bags and go to Perth for vacation. Oh the irony of my life. haha

Was planning to do that during the end of Oct, so I can go to Perth on December for the whole month, spending my Christmas sipping hot chocolate (totally hate sweet drink except when its cold), enjoying the winter, visit amazing places, go to fishing & catch abalone and eat all the oyster! I was really planning to do so until my Aunt wanna come back to KL & KK in mid Nov till Dec, my dream crushed and oh the ticket to Perth is fucking expensive. 

Back to Reality. No I can't enjoy yet. I still have to suffer for another 5 more months, endure 5 more months. I'll be free!!! I basically or randomly told my parents that I want to resign or whatever it is. They were just like, your life, your choice, you like it do it. Doesn't sound convincing to me. Where is all the support???? Urghhhh. Story of my life. 

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Oh and my bro just got a girlfriend. I was like ewwwww and omgggggggggg the whole time when he bring his girlfriend back home. HAHAHA Mom and I was laughing all the way down. Then my girlfriends started to ask me when will I get bf. I was like WHAT!? Not until I went overseas ok. hahaha I want to find ang moh and have ang moh baby (totally jk) -.- 

Anyway still planning for my future! Will be making a big step next year. Hope that God will guide me all the way through. Hopefully I myself will take the step forward instead of staying in the same path. 

Till then,

Cheers and God Bless

210713 : Mommy's Birthday

Today is my mom's birthday! Wish her happy birthday!!! LOL By the time you guys read this its already over anyway. Procrastination early in the morning by refusing to go to church!! Typical lazy people. In the end I went to church with mom.

Before we went to church my tears just fall down. Having grouch feeling, feeling stress, kept on thinking about my work even its weekend. Cause its not time for my resignation yet. When the times come it'll be. Anyway I get ready for church eventually.

Then again I want to Thank God cause I went to church again. LOL and I really did. Listening to Father's speech which was so good. Cause I think its the first time I understand. hahahaha lame me. Today we talked about giving. The more you give the more blessing you will received. Which was totally true.

Its doesn't matter how difficult it is as long as you give and help honestly, passionately and truthfully you'll definitely be blessed. And no matter what I do now I feel so blessed. I'm so Thankful for everything even tho I'm no where good.

Oh and today is Father Micheal's birthday as well, as we sang the birthday song, silence tears went down my checks and the same time I wish my mom birthday silently in my heart and wish that she will always be with me together forever.

Our family has this awkward gene. Lol We don't wish each other Happy Birthday nor Father or Mothers Day. Cause its awkward. We never do that except when we're kid, I draw cards and stuff. We just celebrate by ourselves nothing more, nothing big, just the four of us. Family together is the most important. And I don't think I even want to celebrate my 21th Birthday this year. Just a dinner with family is enough. As simple as that.

Anyway I just wanna wish my mommy Happy Birthday! Lotsa love from me even tho I'm a stubborn daughter and awkward as well. I just hope that you'll live longer with Daddy and stay with me forever and God Bless everyone in the world!

Work

I was wondering what happened to my life for all these 20 years. (21 in August soon)

Am I doing the right thing?

I always thought that I'm making the right choice in working as a clerk for the rest of my life. LOL. Saving up as much as money for my parents and my future and my obsession in traveling. Paying for house loan (soon) and stuff. I haven't gave my mom monthly fees for food and gas at all except for paying bills during dinner. I'm a bad daughter huh?!  Hahahaha same goes to my bro, bad son. LOL

Am I making a great choice?

I must admit that I think I made the wrong choice working as a clerk. Cause you know kid like me just doesn't have the right path or ambition in life. I haven't found yet. Funny right, 21 soon but I still have no ambition and living purpose. 

Am I satisfied with all I have?

Yes, I'm satisfied with what I have now. Great family, amazing bff, peaceful country in Sabah, and I have God by my side. But I want more than that as well. I know being famous as celebrities or blogger or a fashionista is amazing but I can't do things what I'm not capable of doing it. I wanted to have this, have that, have those amazing things that people will envy on, but I can't, cause that's not me.

What's the purpose of life?

I think I have no sense on that yet lol. As you can see or have been reading my blog this year, I have been ranting a lot on my work life. Its just not there yet.

I'm going to make a decision soon. Real soon. Hopefully.


Till then,
Cheers and God Bless.

Pooping System

Shit is way too rude, feces or stool or constipate sounds way too nice. So pooping makes thing cute. LOL. Just ignore my randomness.  Hahahaha

Have you ever wonder that if you didn't poop for days what would you feel? Since I've been working my pooping system gets better. I pooped everyday. Okay but I just got so pissed off for this week cause I pooped once every two days. I felt uncomfortable and bloated. 

Previously while I was studying I pooped once every two days, cause as a student we eat a lot of junk food so its kinda hard to poop in the school. Hahahaha 

Then every time I brag on twitter or any other social media except for fb that I can't poop then few minutes later I pooped. LOL What sorcery is that????? hahahaha lame pun. Oh cause of the pooping system isn't doing its job well I get fucking horrendous pimples in ma face plus ma fucking hormone imbalance as well. 

Oh wells sucks being girls sometimes. Fuck you hormones. Sorry for the ranting post again. NOT. :P

Till then,
Cheers and God Bless

Thinking

Okay I think I'm going to make a big decision by going back to study again next year. I hope the course I'm taking this time will lead to my goal. I'm planning to retake the diploma course but its totally a different thing not commerce or science btw. So I have to decide within this year whether I should study or not. Cause I don't want to start my study so late. By the time if i really go for degree I might be already 26 or 27 years old when I graduated. LOL

Cause I don't want to waste time working, sitting in front of the computer every time. I want something different and I finally found the course that I wanted and my Aunt has been raving to me all these years. But I thought that the course is all about taking care of sick children but apparently no. I got it all wrong. Cause maybe I was stupid that time so I kept on saying no. But now to think of it I think its the best since its very niche in market now.

I tried all source of working, online sales especially clothes and accessories and stuff but no one buys from me at all. I mean no one at all. I tried to become a full time blogger but KK is not the same as KL, epic failed. I tried to work part time for like starbucks or whatsoever, but no one wants me. Photography is the most epic fail, only need guys n mom is against it.

This time I'm taking this course will it lead to my future? I don't know. It depends. But I hope this decision will prove me right! Oh btw If I really didn't make the decision by going to study that course, I might be still at the same pace like right now. So I hope I can make this big decision!


Till then,
Cheers and God Bless.