I am feeling so exhausted lately. All the mentality torturing is horrible. I HATE TO WORK IN FRONT OF THE DESK EVERYDAY WITH NO PASSION AND DREAM. Its great to get income from work but all the mentality torture is difficult to handle. No matter how easy or hard is. I really need to relax.
I just went to interview today. Before that interview part, my current supervisor already suspicious of me for wanting to leave the company. Fuck you supervisor, for all the trouble you throw to me no matter how big or small is I ENDURED! Been following all the thing you've asked. So hard to have a poker face whenever you throw the blame on me.
So I went to interview with 50% of confidence and 50% of doubt. Of course doubt surpassed the confidence. They asked way too much, so much that they even want to know my hobbies and interest! I even blurred out that I do blog, which I am. I was like NUUUUUUUUU!!!!!! They know I do blog they must be wanting to checked out what I was thinking and saying all those bad stuff like now. HAHAHA Can't they just leave my personal life alone!? I need privacy as well.
I even blurred out nonsense when I was interviewed. I couldn't think properly at all. Basically their working environment doesn't match with my style. JOB IN MALAYSIA IS NO FUN! I MEAN ALL THE JOB IN THE WORLD IS NO FUN! :(
So I went back to office doing nothing. Seeing my supervisor went out shopping with her daughter really irks me to punch her in the face. My supervisor can go out doing her personal stuff everyday but when we went out for awhile we get questioned. The heck is this people think about.
Everything happened really fast right now. I couldn't catch up with the happenings. I just want to relax and cry out loud and sleep. I'm so tired right now that I might break down anytime soon. I couldn't stand up properly right now.
But I'm so thankful that my friends are here for me. Especially Diana, she called me while I was writing this post. I felt better with just a short conversation. It released my tension a bit, makes me even want to cry more. T______T It was not easy to please this society even if I haven't even step into a bigger world yet. I'm not sure if I can take the stress when I am pursuing my passion.
My dream and passion is a place where they critic my work no matter how good or bad it is. How am I going to encounter this stress alone? I think I need more time to make it work on. Its going to take a long time but I hope its going to be worth. Hopefully.
Cheers and God Bless.