Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Random Thoughts : Vacation & Reality

I cannot wait for the time to come to go on vacation! Its been awhile since I've go to any vacation. I long for it. As time approaching, I find myself stuck. I've delayed another 2 weeks before new colleague is going take over my job. Maybe because I still felt insecure right now. So I try to stay as long as I could in this shit company. In the same time I couldn't wait to get over it.

Things hasn't going good lately. I get good respond but I couldn't get any customer for the moment yet. Its just 1 sample and its not enough. I need more sample to convince them I am the best. As I looked through all people who is in the same path I'm going, it seems that there are way more than I've expected. Ads keep popping up from the same field I'm in. I couldn't possibly do any ads with all the expenses I have accumulated. I need a decent plan for now. 

Planning is not easy. Plan A not working, go for Plan B, if not C, D or more. I'm working on it. Even if parents were pouring reality on me, I still believe that I could achieve it. I just need some proper plan and time. I can do it!!!!!!! Never give up!!! There's a lot of people really inspired me to go for my dream, it encourage me a lot. 

Sometimes I do felt like I could burst out anytime, when my partner is just being low class. Maybe because I've got influenced by all those from people surrounding me. I think differently. I act like a high class people when I'm not. Because that's how society do now days. You have to act in order to get attention. Being pure hearted or honest could sometimes destroy everything. So I set a high standard when I know I'm not in that level yet. Because I wanted to be the best. 

Everyone is dressing up, expensive dinner, expensive gadget, that's how we are now. We are setting it a high standard because everyone started to judge, from head to toe. It was not long ago I was off from work, I somehow unexpected wearing really old shirt to a mall. I felt embarrassed, really embarrassed. I felt out of the place, I felt ugly, I felt fat, everyone is judging at my appearance, I wanted to run away, hiding somewhere that no one could judge me. This is reality. Everyone judge. Its getting sick. 

Till then,
Cheers and God Bless.

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