The Real Me

I talk softly but doesn't mean I'm really soft. Its just a waste of saliva & breathe to talk.
The real me : I talk as loud as possible when I'm comfortable with my surrounding people.

I don't respond to people's joke not because I don't care. Its just that I really don't get jokes at all.
The real me: I just hate jokes that doesn't makes me understand.

I really like to stare blank. It doesn't mean that I'm thinking.
The real me: I just completely immerse myself somewhere off to the outer space or another dimension of the world until someone poke my bubble dream.

I always wear comfy clothes whenever I can but it doesn't mean I'm sloppy.
The real me: I dress up for different occasion in a proper way and even comfy clothes it has to be the best and new.

I look like a leader or good in everything that everyone depends on me
The real me: I'm only good on things I'm good at so it doesn't mean I'm perfect in EVERY ASPECT.

I'm a healthy person
The real me: I'm healthy in a sense that I'm still young.

I eat properly
The real me:  I eat properly because I eat healthy food and just indulge everything I've want.

I sleep properly.
The real me: sleeping too much is making my back pain

I exercise
The real me: I do enjoy jogging a lot but become lazy ass when no one accompany me

I have smartphone! Everyone does!
The real me: Less than 20 apps in my phone. Throw my phone in the edges without touching it for the whole night or days when there's no msg or call at all.

I have a lot of sociable best friends
The real me: Envy them for being able to make even more friends. Cause I always sticks to them without getting new friends.

I have a passion for photography
The real me: Struggling and self confidence super low. I just need to practice even more. But I'm getting great result lately! Yay for hardwork!

I love to travel! I need to travel even more!
The real me: I better earn some money before I could even went out and buy food for myself

I just have complicated life & way of thinking.
The real me: It was just my heart & brain fighting together to won over or to concur over me.



The real me just don't give a fuck at all because in the end I'd give a fuck over it. Geddit!?!?

No where better

Now that I've been working for 1 month in a new environment, I thought that I could stay in the company longer and become better but I'm no where good. My heart & mind is constantly running away from reality. I hate the fact that I always think too much. If I could just work it out without thinking so much it would be better for me. I wanted to clear my mind but reality kept on pushing back. My heart is aching and I've never felt this empty before. As if my heart suddenly stop sending me signal of what I should do and let my brain concur everything.

If I could just stop thinking too much and about future. Whats important now is not my future but my presence itself. If I don't do better now nothing much will change in the future. Even tho I think that, it still involved my future. How funny is that. These types of thought really makes me so sick. I'm getting so much headache than before lately. 

I don't wanna think too much that's all. END.

Till then,

Cheers & God Bless.